Sunday, June 27, 2010

Sex and infertility

The Husband and I are ready to have children. We've been ready for two years. One year ago, we found out that we were facing a challenge.

We found out that my hormones are out of wack and I don't ovulate every month like I should. It sucks. I cried. A lot. I felt like less of a woman. We got married dreaming of starting a family, and I couldn't do what I was anatomically designed to do. I was crushed, and my husband spent many hours holding me. I'm now taking meds to help balance things out, and working with an endocrinologist.

So why isn't this an infertility blog? Because sex is wonderful and beautiful. So many infertile couples get stressed about sex; timing it, putting pressure on it, and hanging their hopes and dreams on it. They start losing the fun and spontaneity, and closeness. It becomes a business transaction. Pay me in sperm, and I'll give you a baby. But I don't want to dwell on what sex isn't doing for us, but what it is. It brings us closer together, it brings us intimacy.

The times that I ovulate, I let him know, and we meet up later that day, but we still have the ability to meet with love, tenderness and fun. We make it like any other time; taking our time with each other, making each other giggle and sigh and moan.

While we do pray for a little miracle, we know that our relationship is most important. We are the foundation that any potential family will be built on, and we want to keep that foundation as strong as possible.

2 comments:

  1. Ohhhh, I so know exactly what you are feeling. I myself did have to deal with the same thing. And it's not easy at all... the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. So many different feelings, so many what-if's. And then the hormones, they can make you feel and act crazy.
    (If you need infertility support, or happy stories, or advice, email me at jennifer.nace@gmail.com I can share my experience with you)

    But it's so nice to see that you are still enjoying the lovemaking and not letting it take over your life, or become a chore or task. So many couples dealing with IF let the 'love' part of lovemaking slip by the wayside. But if you have to do it, you may as well enjoy it, right? Good for you!!

    Hang in there girl!

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  2. IVF Warrior here and I just wanted to say that I find your outlook VERY refreshing and healthy. I hope you have your miracle baby...it will certainly be borne of love!

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